Saturday, April 24, 2010
It has been one of the most devastating week i have had for quite awhile.
Many times i wanted to quit but i will tell myself to push on.
This time round, it was too much for me to bear.
Mental broke down a few times.
Dreading to sleep to wake up to another day full of misery.
Thought of giving up has been on my mind every now and then.
Just another few more weeks and i cant seem to hang on already.
Most disappointing thing is with myself.
Time and again it has happened.
Been trying but never have i been able to get things right for once.
Always have been screwing up.
Never for once was i able to accomplish what i had aimed for.
Half way, i would just blank out and screw up somewhere.
Cant let this go on for any longer before i start to hate myself even more.
Need some readjustments to my head.
Got to stop thinking of all the nonsensical thoughts.
Before it takes over me, whole.
Have to start getting myself back.
Many times i wanted to quit but i will tell myself to push on.
This time round, it was too much for me to bear.
Mental broke down a few times.
Dreading to sleep to wake up to another day full of misery.
Thought of giving up has been on my mind every now and then.
Just another few more weeks and i cant seem to hang on already.
Most disappointing thing is with myself.
Time and again it has happened.
Been trying but never have i been able to get things right for once.
Always have been screwing up.
Never for once was i able to accomplish what i had aimed for.
Half way, i would just blank out and screw up somewhere.
Cant let this go on for any longer before i start to hate myself even more.
Need some readjustments to my head.
Got to stop thinking of all the nonsensical thoughts.
Before it takes over me, whole.
Have to start getting myself back.
Confidence is something you need to balance, cant have too much or too little of it.
don
don
@ 9:48 PM
Saturday, April 17, 2010
why cant i be like others who are stress free?
why cant things turn out the way i want for once?
why cant for once i don't screw up?
why must i get shit every single day?
why must i have to endure such nonsense?
why why why.. . so many whys.
maybe just maybe the problem lies with me all along, guess its time for me to change and stop acting like a small brat already.
why cant things turn out the way i want for once?
why cant for once i don't screw up?
why must i get shit every single day?
why must i have to endure such nonsense?
why why why.. . so many whys.
maybe just maybe the problem lies with me all along, guess its time for me to change and stop acting like a small brat already.
everything seems so distant now
don
don
@ 9:56 AM
Friday, March 12, 2010
A big bravo to myself
I have stupidly wasted one whole month doing nothing literately.
Besides going through the same routine everyday.
I have stupidly wasted one whole month doing nothing literately.
Besides going through the same routine everyday.
camp home camp camp home home camp home home home camp home camp home camphome home home camp camp home camp home camp camp camp camp camphome camp camp camp camp home camp camp camp camp camp camp homecamp camp home camp camp home home camp camp camp camp camp no camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp home camp home camp camp camp home home home camp camp camp camp camp camp
camp home camp camp home home camp life camp home camp camp home camp home camp home home camp camp camp camp home camp home home camp camp camp home home camp camp home home home home camp home camp camp home home camp camp home camp camp home camp camp camp home home camp home camp home
camp camp camp camp camp camp home camp home home home camp home camp camp camp home home home camp camp home camp home home camp camp camp home totally home camp home camp camp home home camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp home camp camp home camp camp camp home home camp home home camp camp home camp camp home camp home home camp home home camp camp home camp camp camp camp home home camp camp home camp home home camp camp home home camp . . .
camp home camp camp home home camp life camp home camp camp home camp home camp home home camp camp camp camp home camp home home camp camp camp home home camp camp home home home home camp home camp camp home home camp camp home camp camp home camp camp camp home home camp home camp home
camp camp camp camp camp camp home camp home home home camp home camp camp camp home home home camp camp home camp home home camp camp camp home totally home camp home camp camp home home camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp home camp camp home camp camp camp home home camp home home camp camp home camp camp home camp home home camp home home camp camp home camp camp camp camp home home camp camp home camp home home camp camp home home camp . . .
so tell me whats new.
maybe a quick get away from the mundane life in Singapore will bring my spirit back.
the only one we can trust wholeheartedly is ourselves.
don
@ 8:16 AM
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
still in a mess
@ 7:29 AM
Monday, February 22, 2010
GOODBYE REALITY
HELLO VIRTUALITY
frustrated
don :X
don :X
@ 8:02 AM
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A BIG BIG happy Chee-Na New Year to you people out there !
*recap on the past three days*
Day one of Chee-Na New Year
Went to a whooping total of 9 places.
It all started out in the morning at 0745, time i woke up to prepare to leave the house which was at 0830. The first stop this year was kind of different this year, usually my paternal relatives will come over in the morning for pig organ soup with mee sua cooked by my beloved grandma but this year due to her having to go under the knife she moved and stayed with my aunt at Jurong for the time being so we had to go over there first. After which, headed down to Mandai to bai bai to my maternal grandpa next was to Mount Vernen to bai bai to my paternal grandpa and where we took our usual group photo to notice the difference in us over time.
Next off to Bukit Timah for lunch and ang pao collection, went on to Circuit Road,Bedok,to my maternal grandma at Toa Pa Yoh, headed back home to feed Oreo and lastly to Bukit Batok.
YES, i have conquered the whole of Singapore with that, DONG NAN XI BEI ! PONG !
didn't get any ang paos from my mum's side as grandpa just passed away last year and didn't really get to see my other cousins while visiting quite a pity :(
Day two of Chee-Na New Year
Went over to my grandma place at TPY for lunch and stayed there till evening time before heading off for dinner with family at pizza hut and ended of the day with majong session over at William's place till the wee hours in the morning.
Day three of Chee-Na New Year
Slept the whole morning away, had breakfast cum lunch at home and idle the rest of the afternoon at home staring blankly into the computer screen before going over to my aunt's place for dinner in the night.
*recap on the past three days*
Day one of Chee-Na New Year
Went to a whooping total of 9 places.
It all started out in the morning at 0745, time i woke up to prepare to leave the house which was at 0830. The first stop this year was kind of different this year, usually my paternal relatives will come over in the morning for pig organ soup with mee sua cooked by my beloved grandma but this year due to her having to go under the knife she moved and stayed with my aunt at Jurong for the time being so we had to go over there first. After which, headed down to Mandai to bai bai to my maternal grandpa next was to Mount Vernen to bai bai to my paternal grandpa and where we took our usual group photo to notice the difference in us over time.
Next off to Bukit Timah for lunch and ang pao collection, went on to Circuit Road,Bedok,to my maternal grandma at Toa Pa Yoh, headed back home to feed Oreo and lastly to Bukit Batok.YES, i have conquered the whole of Singapore with that, DONG NAN XI BEI ! PONG !
didn't get any ang paos from my mum's side as grandpa just passed away last year and didn't really get to see my other cousins while visiting quite a pity :(
Day two of Chee-Na New Year
Went over to my grandma place at TPY for lunch and stayed there till evening time before heading off for dinner with family at pizza hut and ended of the day with majong session over at William's place till the wee hours in the morning.
Day three of Chee-Na New Year
Slept the whole morning away, had breakfast cum lunch at home and idle the rest of the afternoon at home staring blankly into the computer screen before going over to my aunt's place for dinner in the night.
Day four of Chee-Na New Year(today)
Guess what i had to go back camp.
Each morning i wake up, a dreadful thought always feels up within me when is my "chalet" going to end. I don't want it to end so soon least i have to go over to another camp to stay in (O.o) .
What i have done for the past few weeks in camp if you are wondering? Been watching vids of korean groups' MVs, Dancing, Variety Shows and watching movies. Lately one of my friend was kind of bo liao, trying to get everone to dance to the song Mister by KARA, even when on to search for the dance steps and brought it to camp to show us !
Each morning i wake up, a dreadful thought always feels up within me when is my "chalet" going to end. I don't want it to end so soon least i have to go over to another camp to stay in (O.o) .
What i have done for the past few weeks in camp if you are wondering? Been watching vids of korean groups' MVs, Dancing, Variety Shows and watching movies. Lately one of my friend was kind of bo liao, trying to get everone to dance to the song Mister by KARA, even when on to search for the dance steps and brought it to camp to show us !
pics are for another time.
don :D
don :D
@ 5:26 AM
Thursday, February 11, 2010
4 months since i enlisted and it already feels like an eternity, cant wait for it to end.
Posted to Gombak Camp as a transport operator,waiting for the transport course to start somewhere in March. Meantime, have been doing odd jobs such as maintenance of the vehicles and going out to places in a commercial bus to help collect documents and send people around.
Chinese New Year / Valentine's Day is round the corner.
Gotten two flowery top and a jeans for it and still looking around for more stuff.
This year, no matter what means i try, cant seem to get into the festive mood.
Guess its gonna be another lonely year again.
@ 6:19 AM
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